Need a break from all the noise this Valentine’s Day? We give you, Sir Rucifer, a professional Dominant. He is a well respected BDSM lifestyle educator, performer, and private instructor. We were excited to get his insight into what it’s really like to be an Alpha male, what his clients come to him for, and how BDSM can be introduced to a relationship in a healthy way. We chat about Alpha males in romance and how BDSM is treated in fiction. We’ve stopped doing sexy passage reading, but couldn’t resist having him read some 50 Shades to us at the end!
A trigger warning for this episode: We discuss fantasies of nonconsent (using the word rape) and how BDSM can help with the healing process after sexual trauma.
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Other highlights from the conversation include:
-What it’s like to grow up with the guilt and shame of being a dominant male.
-Why consent is sexy.
-What’s behind the appeal of fantasies of nonconsent? Why are women so drawn to that fantasy?
-How BDSM can help people to recover from sexual trauma if handled correctly.
-Common requests that his clients are looking for.
-How to introduce kink to a relationship.
-Why it can be hard for men to assume the dominant role in a relationship.
-How to spice things up with sensation play.
-The importance of Aftercare.